Jay Hung became a caregiver at 13; now he helps young Canadians like him

When most teenagers are focused on school, friendships and weekend plans, Jay Hung was learning how to care for his mother. At just 13, the Queen’s University student became a young caregiver after his mother was diagnosed with late-stage cancer. Years later, Hung is using that experience to help other young Canadians feel less isolated and more prepared for a role they often take on without warning.In an interview with CHCH’s Morning Live, Hung spoke about his caregiving journey alongside Amy Coupal of the Ontario Caregiver Organization. The segment highlighted a largely unseen reality: an estimated 1.2 million young people in Canada provide care for a family member while also trying to keep up with school, social life and their own emotional needs.Hung’s story shows why young caregivers need more than occasional advice. They need peers who understand the complicated mix of love, fear, responsibility and exhaustion that comes with supporting someone who is ill.A childhood that changed overnightHung became a caregiver in 2019, when his mother was diagnosed with late-stage cancer. At the time, he was only 13.For many young people, a parent’s serious illness can make home life feel unfamiliar almost immediately. Everyday routines may change, hospital visits may become frequent, and children can find themselves helping with practical tasks while trying to understand frightening medical information.They may also provide emotional support by keeping a loved one company, offering encouragement or simply trying to make difficult days feel more manageable. Even when a young person is not responsible for every aspect of physical care, the emotional weight can be substantial.Hung has described the experience as one marked by isolation and loneliness. He did not always have peers who understood what he was going through, and he often lacked the language to explain his role. A teenager may know that they are helping a parent, but may not yet recognize themselves as a “caregiver.”That lack of recognition can make it difficult to ask for support. Young carers may worry that friends will not understand, teachers will see them as unreliable, or relatives will assume they are coping better than they really are.The hidden responsibilities of young carersYoung caregivers support family members in many different ways. Some help with personal care, meals, medication reminders, transportation or household chores. Others assist with communication, appointments and paperwork, or provide companionship and emotional reassurance.The Alzheimer Society of Canada defines young caregivers as people under 30 who provide care for a family member, friend or neighbour. The person receiving care may be living with cancer, dementia, a disability, a chronic illness, a mental-health condition or another serious challenge.For a teenager, these responsibilities can overlap with schoolwork, exams, extracurricular activities and the pressure to plan for the future. The result is often a double life: one identity at school and another at home.A young caregiver might attend class after spending the morning helping a parent get ready, or complete an assignment while worrying about a medical appointment. They may appear to be managing normally while privately feeling tired, anxious or guilty for wanting time away from home.The role can also be emotionally complicated. Young people may feel deep love and pride in helping their families, while also experiencing frustration, sadness or resentment. These feelings do not mean they care any less. They reflect the reality of carrying responsibilities that many people their age have never had to consider.Turning personal experience into supportRather than keeping his experience private, Hung began looking for ways to create the support system he wished he had found earlier.At Queen’s University, he became involved in efforts to make young caregiving more visible. He is a co-founder of Youths for Hospice, an initiative focused on supporting and raising awareness for young people caring for loved ones receiving hospice or palliative care. He has also helped build the Queen’s Young Caregivers Community, known as QYCC.The goal is not to tell young caregivers how they should feel or to offer a one-size-fits-all solution. It is to give them a place where they can speak honestly with people who understand the experience firsthand.Peer communities can be especially valuable because they reduce the pressure to explain every detail. A young caregiver may not need to describe why a hospital visit changed their schedule or why they cannot attend an event at the last minute. Others in the group may already understand.Hung and his peers are also helping change the language around caregiving. Naming the role can be an important first step. Once young people recognize that they are caregivers, they may be more likely to seek support, request flexibility at school and connect with available resources.Support that extends beyond campusAlthough Hung’s work is linked to Queen’s, the need reaches far beyond one university. Many young caregivers are still in high school, working part-time, attending college or entering the workforce. Some live in homes where caregiving is considered a private family matter and is rarely discussed outside the household.Organizations such as the Ontario Caregiver Organization offer programs designed specifically for young caregivers. These include peer-support groups, one-to-one peer mentoring, online communities and information about managing stress, relationships and responsibilities.Young Caregivers Connect, for example, serves people aged 15 to 25 and provides opportunities to share feelings with others who have similar experiences. Its peer-support groups are facilitated by trained individuals with lived experience of caregiving.These services matter because traditional caregiver programs are often designed with older adults in mind. Young people may need different forms of support, including help communicating with teachers, balancing school deadlines, maintaining friendships and preparing for transitions such as leaving home.Building a culture of recognitionHung’s work also highlights the importance of schools and universities recognizing young caregivers before they reach a breaking point.Teachers, counsellors and campus staff can help by asking sensitive questions, offering flexible deadlines and making students aware of confidential support. They do not need to know every detail of a student’s family situation to provide compassion and practical assistance.Friends can also make a difference. Simple gestures like checking in, listening without judgment or understanding when plans change may help a young caregiver feel less alone. The most useful response is often not advice, but reassurance that their experience is valid.At the same time, young caregivers should not be expected to handle everything by themselves. Peer support can provide connection, but professional counselling, respite services and medical or social-work assistance may also be necessary.A message for young people carrying too muchHung’s journey began with a painful change in his family life, but it has grown into advocacy for others. His experience demonstrates how personal hardship can inspire practical action without erasing the difficulty that caused it.By helping create communities such as QYCC and Youths for Hospice, he is making space for young people who may have previously felt invisible. He is showing them that caregiving is not something they have to navigate in silence.For young Canadians supporting an ill or disabled loved one, recognition can be powerful. They are students, friends, siblings and children — but they may also be caregivers. Their responsibilities deserve understanding, their wellbeing deserves attention, and their voices deserve a place in conversations about health and family care.Hung became a caregiver at 13. Now, as a Queen’s student, he is helping ensure that the next young person facing a similar experience does not have to believe they are alone.Catch the latest World News and Live updates. Download the TOI app.